Fat chance to get thin!!

I admit.

I have tried it a million times.

I have dreamt of it and visualized the consequences .

I have cherished the idea of facing the consequences and yet have never met with success

I am talking about losing weight and getting into Kareena Kapoor’s clothes. No, actually not kareena (she is too skinny ),probably the Shilpas, Aishwaryas and bipashas who somehow never have that extra flab hanging from anywhere .

I am not “really” fat (I have managed to convince my friends into calling me “chubby”).However reality stares at me, every time I go anywhere near this reflecting device that people call mirror.

And my mirror, like all mirrors that obey the laws of reflection is brutally honest in letting me know that my waist length is getting numerically rich with each passing day.

It’s not like I have not done anything about it. Like I mentioned before, I have tried a million times.

I have lived on boiled vegetables for breakfast, raw vegetables for lunch and vegetable juice for dinner for a real long time. Twenty full days to be exact. And what happened on the 21^st day? Some dumb friend of mine got a job with this really really nice company .A treat followed suite .The treat could have been at Muniyandi vilasam and I would not have cared much ,but he had to treat us at Taj .My salivary glands could not bear the temptation and I gave in.

I gave in that day and there was no looking back for another six months. Then it happened again. The old mirror on the wall opened its big mouth .This time it brought my attention to the double –chin that had managed to add itself to my already heavy body.

I sulked .I brooded. I wrote a diary entry vowing never to eat anything that is remotely related to fats. I called up a couple of diplomatic people and asked them if they thought I had added weight, I refrained from calling up the frank ones though. Then, I decided.

Starving was not the way to go thin (neither was it easy ,trust me!!).I registered my name for a fitness program. To show my commitment to nobody in particular ,I bought myself a good fitness kit .Determined to lose those extra kilos ,I reached class before time on the first day. Wore all the necessary and unnecessary gadgets and waited for the instructor piously.

The instructor arrived. Excited that I was ,I gave her a sheepish grin, spoke to her about my dying urge to lose weight , my failed attempts at losing weight ,my general philosophy behind losing weight and the weight I gave to having the proper weight in a women’s life .It is only after I had spoken for a good ten minute period that I realized that I had not given her a chance to open her mouth at all.

I shut my trap upon realization.

There was a brief silence(I think she could not believe it that she had finally got the chance to use the power of language).

She spoke.

She told me how it was really nice to have enthusiastic people like me in her fitness centre and how she would have really helped me out, had it not been for this really nice job-offer she had got from UK.

For a minute, I wondered if I was hearing it right. But then, the truth sank in. This lady was asking me to get my money refunded.

I paraded to the receptionist and got my 1500 Rupees back. As I moved out of the center, my eyes fell on an advertisement that talked about a fitness center a few streets away. I wondered if I should be going there .On second thoughts, I decided not to. I knew exactly where to go.

One street away was this “Punjabi Dhabba” and one could eat a lot for 1500 rupees.

This was my final attempt at doing anything about my weight at all .If you are wondering that I told you that I had tried a million times and have only talked about two incidents, well, let me confess, I am pretty weak at maths.

So here I am, waiting for the mirror to get honest with me and prompt me to take up some other class/diet or philosophy to fit into these unusually uncomfortable, but bollywood type clothes.

Till then, I should be saying “:Fat is beautiful”.

And ,to be honest ,“Chubby is gorgeous”.