And then God said....

Dear God,

Hope this letter finds you in the best of your spirits .How are you doing ?

I am doing great here. As your chief messenger, I am writing to you to bring to your notice a couple of things that have been troubling me in recent times. A lot of squabling is occuring down here on earth because of the different books that the publishing units in heaven are constantly manufacturing. You have by now sent so many books on the 'ways to live' that my team and I are having a hard time trying to agree with each other.

While one of your books talks about rebirth,another says that there is only one life.I must tell you that this has caused an unnecessay difference of opinion between me and my wife. She does not let me kill mosquitoes ( which by the way are one of the most annoying forms of life you have managed to create) as she believes that i will be reborn as one and suffer similar consequences. I,on the other hand agree with the book on 'one life' and hence want to have the pleasure of relieving myself of the pain caused by these monstrous mosquitoes.And it is not my family alone that is subjecting itself to such events. Caveman 2 , who was otherwise happy with his 2 wives is now all set to take 4 more wives .He is deeply moved by yet another book of yours and wants to follow it to the tee.This has irritated Caveman 3 and Caveman 4 who firmly believe in 'one woman for one man' concept. Now all the three cavemen verbally abuse each other and pelt stones at random cavemen to vent out their frustration.

Every morning at least three cavemen come to me and talk about who they think is the
“True God”.They have now started new rituals to differentiate themselves from each other.Caveman 3 has a weakness for bananas so caveman 5 has declared that his book bans people from eating Bananas. He now forces his children to refrain from eating bananas and has made “apple” a holy fruit .

Seeing this Caveman 3 has declared that his book talks about the goodness of bananas and the evil nature of apples.His family is on a strict banana diet .His wife says that the entire family is now suffering from diarrhoea but this has not affected caveman 3's decision to eat nothing but bananas.

While all this is happening, Caveman 6 , who was widely appreciated by the council of cavemen a few months ago for his discovery of fire has declared that he does not agree with any of the books sent by the ministry of heaven.In fact he says, he does not think you exist.The council of cavemen now wants him to be beheaded, the only problem being that it is Caveman 6 who has been working on coming up with sharp tools to kill animals.He has slowed doen his research work and hence the council cannot behead him without a proper tool.


Please do not get me wrong here but why are you sending out so may books.The syllabus is just too much.Is it not enough that we have to live in these really scary jungles of yours and keep inventing stuff so that the future generations can have substantial history syllabus for classes I to 5 ??

It is still ok now.Apart from the casualities caused due to hungry lions,frustrated serpants and a few unknown diseases, we do not really have other causes for death. However, I fear the day when Caveman 6 will finally end up discovering a sharp tool. I fear that these cavemen will kill each other over these books.

Between the two of us, I know how hard you worked to make 'man' .Do you really want all your hardwork to go in vain because of a few books ?

Do think about it.

Write to me whenever you find time.I know you are busy. I heard from some heaven dwellers that you plan to have something called “civilizations “ coming up soon.

All the best for that.


Lots of love,

Caveman I (Promoted from the designation of Early man I recently)


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Dear Caveman I,

First of all , Congratulations on your promotion. I am glad that you are doing well on earth. I am doing fine here. Just a tad bit busy with planning civilizations etc.

With regards to the books you were talking about, I am sure there is some confusion somewhere.I sent out only one message- A sentence to be precise .

Of course I had it sent to the PR agency before release. Idea was to have a wider reach.Will look into it immediately.Dont worry , everything will get sorted out.Just send me the name of the publishing unit that is sending these books to you.

By the way, the only message that I had sent was-


“Do good and be good “.


Do let the other cavemen know about this.



Love,

God
Heaven- second street, First Avenue.

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This letter from God never reached Caveman I. The publishing unit probably smelled a rat and bribed the postman.God was too busy with planning for tomorrow and Caveman I was too busy with his day to day problems...

life ... and death ....continued.